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olderthendirt
USA
370 Posts |
 Posted - 03/02/2003 : 15:27:28
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Courtesy of Rick Mercer from This Hour Has 22 Minutes CBC Television:
On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the
United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well
recently and for that, I am truly sorry.
I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.
He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any
consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the
people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.
I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees
than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper
and better than your own.
I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our
excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than
yours.
I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I
notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.
I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer
but, we Feel your Pain.
I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up
against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I
realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against
Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.
And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a
thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over
this.
We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with. Thank you. |
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Justin
USA
137 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 16:57:28
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Mark, I'll bet you were happy to see that other morally and politically bankrupt people exist. Misery really does love company eh. God Bless You.
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mshort68
USA
138 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 17:06:38
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| When was the last time Canada won a war? George Bush will go down as a great President after his second term. I'm sorry you don't have the balls to stand up to anyone. Your beer is good, but last I recall Budweiser is the No. 1 beer sold in the world. Being from La. which was established by your criminals I can honestly say that CANADA sucks! Thanks anyway. |
The grass is always greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed! |
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Linda
USA
127 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 17:30:57
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| The ice is getting thin in the South. |
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KileAnderson
USA
875 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 17:38:11
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Hey, Mike, don't forget that Abita Turbo Dog is the best beer ever made and it is brewed about 45 minutes from where I'm sitting right now.
As far as Canada winning wars, I believe they've won every war that they jumped in on our side.
Lot's of people call GW a moron. They do this because they can't find any legitimate argument to make against his policies because they know that moraly he is correct. After 8 years of debauchery and back stabbing in the Whitehouse, some people forgot what it was like to have a God fearing, honorable man who is faithful to his marriage vows and the good up bringing his momma taught him, in the Oval Office. (wow that was a long sentence).
Being a decendant of those deadbeats that were run out of Canada by the uppity folk, (I'm really an Hebert) I have a kindred spirit with those who have left the great white north and settled down here on the bayou in recent years. I have made friends with many transplanted Canadians down here. They taught me how to play hockey and curse in french (sacre bleu, tabernac, I think that's how it's spelled) and I taught them how to peal crawfish and play golf in the winter, something they knew nothing about. I like my Canadian neighbors, we are alot alike. And they agree with me on the Iraq issue and say their families back home are also in agreement with GW and they are ashamed of the way their public officials are acting. I wonder if they feel that way because I keep buying the beer and I'm the only one who knows how to boil the crawfish? |
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Ghostbuster
476 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 20:39:37
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Now, Now, Chilluns, let's play nice. We all know that we will never invade Canada, that's no big secret. Not only is too gawd awful cold, the fact of the matter is it's also too gawd awful boring!
Really now, if we must invade any place, my choice would be someplace far more interesting. Some place where the Cervasa is cold, the food is spicy, and Boystown is attractivly priced. Let's go to a place where we can get the Humvees reupholstered in tuck & roll turquoise naugahyde and put a white vinyl top on it.
I'ma thinkin that Tijuana, Mexico would be muy excitemente compared to say, droll ol' Mississauga, Ontario, Canada!
Or, am I mistaken by thinking like the Cheny/Rummy Gang? |
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KileAnderson
USA
875 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 20:47:11
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| Ghost, I wanna chop top on my hummer, lower it to 3 inches off the ground and add some hydrolics, now that would be a helluva ride. Drop a new sound system in and paint some candy apple flames on the side. Maybe we could paint the 50 cal. on top puprle and add some neon. Those Canuks aint never seen nuthin like that. |
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Ghostbuster
476 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 20:59:45
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Gee, Sergeant Kile, I think ya might be going over the top with your new pimpmobile Hummer. Style is one thing, but painting the Ma Duece purple would have John Browning spinning in his grave. I'd leave it in it's natural Parkerized finish and chrome the mounting ring. The neon lighting is a good idea.
We must always remember that we are creating a Girl-Getter, not a Girl-Repulser. Nes-pa? |
Edited by - Ghostbuster on 03/02/2003 21:04:48 |
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KileAnderson
USA
875 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 21:11:39
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| Don't worry, the chicks dig a flashy heavy machine gun. From what I hear, Canadian girls make the cold up there seem worth it, if you know what I mean. I really need a good hail storm. I'm dreaming about Canadian girls. |
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Ghostbuster
476 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 21:15:48
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| I think your compass is messed up by that magnet in your pocket. We're going to Tijuana, Mexico...NOT Canada! |
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CCarr
Canada
1200 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 21:23:21
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Aren't I a fool! I'm tip toeing in here, laden with protective armour. It may be akin to walking off the beach at that pretty spot in Key West, where the sign says "Cuba 90 miles that way"; and a shark will get me 100 yards off shore before I would have run out of energy and sunk anyway at a 1000 yards out.
However, certainly not in defense of Rick Mercer, but for those who do not have a satellite dish (presumably) like Mark, to pick up the CBC; "This Hour Hass 22 Minutes" is a satirical comedy production. This program will weekly take similar shots at any given news event, person, politics, or region; within Canada and as in this example outside Canada. The US certainly wasn't the first in line for this type of show, France and Germany were 'highlighted' in the previous month on similar issues.
Aside from 'Short's' terse comment, I just didn't want anyone to think Mark was telling you about a serious program on TV. Rick Mercer, with his brand of humor, takes shots at anyone or anything. Understand it, for what is it; eh?
But, I must admit, our hockey and our beer is better. |
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KileAnderson
USA
875 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 21:23:55
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| I know, that's where we get the hummers customized, but It's the Canadian girls I'm dreaming of. That's why I said I need to get some claims quick. |
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olderthendirt
USA
370 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 21:46:14
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Clayton, I do find it hard to believe that anyone would not understand that this was satire. and as usual the best satire has just the tiniest truth behind it. Just think if it wasn't for the war of 1812-14 we would not have our national anthem. Nor would Jackson of won the battle of New Orleans. With out that victory (which occurred after the war was over). Maybe at this time we should as about Canadians the same question we asked about Texans. You know your a Canadian if......
you end the alphabet with Zed instead of Zee |
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KileAnderson
USA
875 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 21:57:37
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| Actually, Mark, the Battle of New Orleans wasn't only fought after the war was over, it wasn't even fought in New Orleans. It was actually fought in Chalmette. And if you've ever been to Chalmette you'll see that they still haven't rebuilt since the battle. |
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JimS
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - 03/02/2003 : 22:30:48
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| Canada...Leading the World in Being Just North of the United States. |
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mshort68
USA
138 Posts |
Posted - 03/03/2003 : 07:10:37
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| As I say again CANADA sucks! |
The grass is always greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed! |
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Our Canadian friends apologize
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